Deadpool Of Halkiginia
by Stoneificaunt
Summary: What are you doing reading this you should be reading this story it has explosions, drama, love, and vengeance. And its also a crossover with some anime called Familiar of Zero. what ever that is. SO START READING OR ELSE.
1. Chapter 1

It was like any other day in New Yor-

"HEY! Narrator."

Ugh yes Deadpool?

"Cut the chatter I'm trying to watch the game here."

... ... Deadpool I'm trying to tell a story here.

"What did I say I'm trying to watch the game here. Sheesh."

Any way it was like any other da-

"Are you trying to tell a story with _moi,_ because if you are then do it later I'm watching the game here."

Deadpool can you at least work with me here?

"Depends what's in it for me?"

**Yea whats in it for us?**

I too would like to know?

Look guys this is like one of my first times trying to make a suitable crossover about you three and another subject that I love.

"Yea I couldn't help but look at your profile It say's your a brony. Is this another Mlp crossover Because if it is-"

Its not a Mlp fic I assure you both you and Pinkie togther would be too hard for me to even try to do. I can't have two fourthwall breaking lunatics now can I.

"Alright so what's it about? Is it an Anime one."

In a way Yea, yea it is.

**terrific.** *Says sarcastically*

Look I know your wackyness combined with anime makes things *wazes hands around* Loco but come on can I at least try it.

"Why aint you working on your other fics I happened to know you have at least 5 other fics?"

six I have six other fics.

Whats the matter got writers block.

You could say that.

"Alright, alright I can see that this is gonna get me no where closer to watching the game so lets get this over with."

Truly you'll do it?

"Yea sure it ain't like I'm doing anything else since my game came out. By the way you gonna buy it?"

Yea I already did when it came out.

**So how far you get?**

I got to where you crashed the Blackbird on genosia.

Good times.

"Alright lets get to it so who I'm crossoverin with? Is it Ninja's cause if it's ninja's I aint doing it."

No it is not Naruto it is a anime with a slight following of people. Have you ever heard of Zero No Tsukaima?

Can't say we have.

Well let me give you the short version of it. Kid gets summoned to be familiar which is a slave. Kid develops feeling for flat chested master kid discovers magical talking katana.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH. did you say Talking katana."

Yes.

"LET'S DO THIS THING!"

Shouldn't we learn more of what were getting into?

**Learning SCREW LEARNING WE GOT THINGS TO DO PEOPLE TO KILL AND A TALKING SWORD TO FIND.**

Guess it's decided.

Alright now I can begin. It wa-

"JUST SKIP TO THE PART WERE I'M SUMMONED ALREADY!"

Fine... A big green ball of light appears in front of you.

"Wait, wait I need my stuff."

Deadpool I'll give you your stuff just get absorbed by the ball already.

"You'll give me my guns? My Knife, Teleportation belt, grenades, Chimichangas, And Tacos?"

Yes but you will have to acquire them in the next world for now you have your basic equipment that you will need.

**So basically everything.** **Right?**

No his basic equipment will be a bowie knife two Beretta's belt of grenades and infinite snack-foods.

Do we really need infinite?

Yes yes you will your master will barely feed you bread and that bread is moldy. Just a word of warning she has a short fuse and her spells always results in explosions.

"Sounds like my kinda girl. Alright here I go."

Deadpool jumped into the green ball and bright whiteness blurred his vision. He found himself about four miles in the air above a pentagon shaped castle

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK?"

Deadpool hit the ground hard leaving a small crater. Dust and smoke were everywhere and students could be heard coughing.

**WHAT AN ENTRANCE!**

I must say it does have a certain appeal to it.

Students coughed and swiped their hands at the dusty air, several of them sneered with annoyance, "That was by far the largest explosion yet, Zero."

"Hah! As expected of the Zero!" another added.

A sultry sexy voice then added it's own quip. "That was quite the explosion, Louise! I hope you didn't blow up your poor familiar as well; it would be _such_ a shame you know?"

**whats up with these kids there all being mean to this Louise chick.**

She must be the person that summoned us and has the short temper.

The girl in question though just ignored their taunts.

A pink haired girl stood gazing down at the thing she had summoned. She had no idea what it was but it surely wasn't what she wanted. Then a voice of authority which was her teacher called. out

"Ms. Louise can you please finish the summoning ritual."

Louise gazed at her teacher and slowly nodded. She crouched down and said the magic binding words.

**What?**

Oh no we are about to be in a contract DEADPOOL WAKEUP!

"O, Pentagon Of The Five Elemental Powers... I announce: bless this union of balance and fate!" And then she kissed Deadpool on the cheek.

Of course this brought on the searing pain that was happening to his hand. Which caused Deadpool to open up his eyes very fast and bolt right up into the air.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH IT BURNS!"

**QUICK CUT IT OFF TO RID THE PAIN!**

Taking his inner self's advice he pulled out his Bowie knife and prepared to slice off his own hand. Students stared in awe at what he was doing and all of them winced When Deadpool clean sliced off his hand like a butcher.

"Ahhh that's better no more burning pain."

The students stared in awe as they saw this man just slice off his own hand to avoid a binding contract.

**Nice save there buddy now we can be independent again.**

The teacher then walked up to him and stared in wonder. Deadpool was a little weird-ed out by this guys staring.

"HEY CHROME DOME stop staring." Said Deadpool while tightening the grip to his knife. The professor furrowed his brow in anger at the insult and pointed his staff at him.

"Sir do you know what you have just done?" He said threateningly. Deadpool merely raised an eyebrow to this. "You have just removed your contract with your master before it even took effect."

Deadpool just Deadpanned at him.

**HAHAHA THAT WAS classic.**

Deadpool took his bowie knife and with the speed that would rival many sliced the teachers staff to nothing but bits and pieces.

"LOOK BUDDY I DON'T LIKE BEING DRAGGED INTO CONTRACTS WITH OUT MY APPROVAL." He said threateningly while pointing the knife at him. The teacher stepped back away from the knife but Deadpool stepped closer then a young blonde with a white open shirt decided to be brave and use his magic to Float Deadpool in the air.

**Hey no fair that's cheating.**

Luckily Deadpool used his other hand to grab a Beretta and fire it at the student who was using the spell to float him in the air. The bullet hit the young man in the shoulder. And Deadpool fell comically to the ground. It was then Louise the supposed Master decided to step in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE MY FAMILIAR NOW I ORDER YOU TO STOP AT ONCE."

**Hey who does she think she is to order s like that.**

When the narrator said short fuse he wasn't kidding.

Deadpool got back up to his feet like a ninja and grabbed the nearest thing to take hostage. Which was Louise Francoise De La Valliere.

"Nobody move or the girl gets it." Students stood in shock as this person just took one of their own hostage. Louise was even in more shock as her own familiar was doing this. The Professor told the rest of the students to go away and soon it was just Him Deadpool and Louise. But off to the side hiding behind some walls were a dark skinned busty chick and a short girl with blue hair. "Alright Chrome Dome here are my demands. Give me the staff of destruction and I won't have to kill anyone."

The Professo- wait a minute how do you know about the Staff of destruction we aren't that far yet?

He obviously used his situational powers to learn of it.

The professor stood in shock as how this person knew the staff of Destruction was here. The two students too the side were intrigued at the mention of Staff of Destruction. And Louise was scared at the turn of events. They all didn't notice that from the tower in the center of the school they were being watched by the headmaster and his assistant.

"Ms. Loungueville I want you to take this key and get the Staff of Destruction and then bring it here. I'll cast a tracking spell on it and we will give it to him. Now go a students life is at stake."

She nodded and ran off. Back with Deadpool who was holding Louise hostage.

"So Baldy nice day were having." He said giving short talk. Baldy as he was called merely remained silent. He was trying to assess the situation.

_Alright Colbert you can do this how can you get Louise away from this armed commoner. Safely._

**Aww look at him he's trying to rescue the girl how sweet.**

I really think we need to redo this whole situation over.

"And I think you two should enjoy what's happening." He said out loud. Colbert merely stared at him questioningly. Deadpool looked at him funny. "WHAT? Ever see a guy talk to his subconscious before?" He blurted out. Colbert shook his head.

_Obviously he is delusional and has a case of schizophrenic disorder. _

"Aww thanks your too kind." Deadpool said. Colbert looked with wide eyes.

_Can he read my thoughts?_ He asked himself.

"No I can just read the text that's up above." Deadpool stated nonchalantly.

_He must be crazy._ Colbert thought finally.

"Anyway Where is the Staff I can't wait all day and I have things to do." Just then the Headmaster appeared with a black case.

"I have brought you the Staff of Destruction. Now can you release Ms. Louise?"

"Hmm. Open the case and throw the Staff." He ordered. The Headmaster complied. It was a M202 FLASH or a Grim Reaper. "Come to papa." He said while throwing Louise who yelped at the being thrown at them. Deadpool grabbed and prepped the Rocket Launcher ready and began aiming it at people. "Now no one make any funny business. I know how to use this thing.

**Lets blow this popsicle stand.**

"Ehh might as well fire at least once to see if it works." He aimed it at the giant tower and fired one of the devastating rockets. It blew apart of he building and looked like it was about to crumble. "Well see you all later." And Deadpool used his teleportation ... Aww come on when did he get that. What ever he teleported out of there.


	2. Chapter 2

Where we last left off our hero.

"HOLD IT!"

... Deadpool what do you want know?

"First off where the hell have you been I thought this story was going to be top priority?"

Well I have been thinking of what to do next since you ruined the first chapter.

"Ruin the first chapter I didn't ruin it I upgraded it."

Yea and now I have to think of a new story plot luckily for you it hasn't gone to shambles yet.

**Look buddy we do what we want when we want to. It's as simple as that.**

I for one think we need to listen to the author and let him do his work.

"Alright, alright look just get me to town so I can get my talking Katana and I'll let you take control again."

Alright deal.

"Oh wait before we start how far did you make it in my game?"

I got to the part were you were drained of your power by Rouge and then became four armed Deadpool.

**Ahh the memorys.**

Ok where we last left off our heroes Deadpool acquired the staff of destruction and teleported out of the school for Nobles. Now Old Osmond has begun a meeting between the teachers staff and three of the students that were present. These three students are Louise Francoise De La Valliere. Kirche Augusta Frederica Von Anhalt Zerbst and Tabitha.

**Hey wait a minute Isn't the story about you know us.**

"Yeah were are we?"

You guys are teleporting to random areas checking out the sites and places getting souvenirs and familiarizing yourself with the land.

I like it. Short and simple.

Anyway Old Osmond was currently looking into his crystal ball searching for Deadpool.

"Drat that is the fifth time he has disappeared truly who ever this Masked man is He truly is a powerful Noble." Old Osmond the headmaster stated.

The teachers were stunned at how this man kept disappearing right when they find him.

"If he didn't steal the Staff of Destruction I would applaud him." Jean Colbert said who was the teacher who confronted him in the last chapter. Ms. Loungueville was thinking a different thing about him.

_How could I let this happen Now that I know how to activate it we can't even find it. Ugh truly a waste. _"We have a very serious crisis on our hands We should tell the Queen she can help us." Most of the teachers were agreeing with the teacher that said that. The headmaster was reluctant to ask for help but this was truly out of his hands.

"Alright send a message to the palace I'm sure they can handle this. But tell them too send someone here so I can give them the spell frequency To the tracking spell. That way they can at least have a lead." Osmond said.

Meanwhile back with our hero Deadpool.

"Man I didn't know that Germania had babes with huge honkers."

**So many I feel like I could just die of happiness.**

Sadly we can't die.

"Alright where are we now?" Deadpool asked him self. He found himself in a small alley by a store that looked to be a weapon's shop.

**Hey look a weapon's shop lets go in and check it out.** Taking his inner self's suggestion Deadpool entered the shop. Once inside they saw the most ugliest person he has ever saw. It looked like a rat and a woman banged each other and the result was this god awful mutant human rat. And he had this most nasily voice in the world.

"Hello sir welcome what can I interest you in today?" The shop owner said. Deadpool did a quick look around the room noticing most of the weapons were straight edge weapons and not a single curved sword.

"I'm looking for a sword, strong, curved and two of them." He said quickly. The weapon shop owner nodded and went into the back room to look for such a blade.

"Your not gonna get anything but junk from this guy I can tell you that." A voice sounded off. Deadpool did a quick search around the room his eyebrow raised or where it would be raised if he wasn't wearing his mask. "Over here!" He heard and gazed into the direction of a barrel of swords.

Looks like we found our blade.

Deadpool gazed into the barrel and picked up one sword that was sheathed and drawed it out.

**OH MY GOD IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP.**

"Hey I ain't a piece of crap I can honestly say I'm better than any sword this place has." Deadpool was astonished. I mean god awfully freaking astonished.

"Y-you can hear them?" He asked the sword.

"Of course I can. Who doesn't?" The sword said.

Uh lets see here almost everyone we ever talk to.

"Your serious?"

**Damn straight we are you piece of crap.**

"Hey I'll have you know I am the legendary Lord Derflinger you inanimate voice."

**All I'm seeing is a piece of crap.**

"I'm gonna have to kinda agree with him on this one." Deadpool said. The sword harrumphed and then said.

"Well I might look a little rough around the edges but that's because I haven't tasted the blood of enemies for so long."

So what your saying is feed you enemies you grow stronger?"Um... Yea lets go with that."

"Its decided I found our talking Katana." Deadpool said triumphantly. Then he touched his teleportation belt and they vanished. Minutes later the owner came out with a fine looking scimitar.

"Ugh sir?... Mustv'e left." One second later Deadpool reteleports back in and said.

"Yoink." While he took the scimitar and re-reteleported out of the establishment. The owner stared shocked at what had just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

The teleportation Deadpool used transported him to the front of a castle. It was big and looked like any other castle one might see.

**Boring. Lets blow it up!**

Now hold on I'm sure there is a reason why were here.

Deadpool took out the Grim Reaper rocket launcher and fired it at the front of the castle. The missile sailed through the air and vaporized the entrance.

**You were saying.**

*sigh*

"Woah partner your packing some serious fire power." Derflinger commented. Deadpool just drew him and his scimitar out and began charging into the entrance. By now soldiers and mages were well aware of the attack. They all saw the one man charge showing no fear, no emotion, no remorse or mercy as he cut down soldier's that got in his way. Running like the Flash and cutting people down like wolverine he continued his mad attack on the capital of Tristain.

You know as much fun as this is cutting people down we seem to be going somewhere with this.

Inside the capital the queen and Princess were being evacuated by the Griffin knights and the leader of them who is named viscount wardes.

**uh uh are we going to kill them?**

Deadpool paid no heed as he continued running toward there location. His mind somehow knew the way like a waypoint.

Wait how do we know this?

"Ugh partner you mind telling us the plan here?" His sword asked. Deadpool was currently locked in a stalemate with a swordmaster knight who was defending his position from advancing.

"If I cut you do you not bleed?" He asked his opponent. The question caught his opponent offguard and he payed the price for it with his life.

**Memories.**

So far everything had been a cake walk and he ran off again to his destination. The mages who were busy trying to find Deadpool had not seen any action. And only the non-magical soldiers payed the price. But there was a reason for this and that was for powering up his sword and Deadpool points.

"Alright here is the plan we kill anyone who gets in our way and kidnap the princess." Deadpool said to himself and to Derflinger.

Ugh we kinda already killed anyone who got in our way.

"He's right partner. And maybe you should have told us this plan while we were outside or before we began attacking." The sword commented dryly. Deadpool took a moment to stop and think of what he just said. He facepalmed except it was more of facestab at his lack of stupidity.

"No wonder something was nagging at my brain." He muffled out. Pulling his sword out quickly to block the incoming attack of a knight and using the other to stab the foe he didn't notice the large griffon coming.

**"PARTNER LOOK** OUT!" The three voices said together. Deadpool turned around only to get pounced on by a griffon knight. He struggled for a moment only for it to be a fruitless attempt. The griffon tore into Deadpool like a dog to a dog-toy. He punched the griffon as hard as he can only to have no effect. It started ripping out organs that would require a person to live. Soon he just gave up and let fate take it's course.

"PARTNER? PARTNER CAN YOU HEAR ME? PARTNER? PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTNNNNNNNNNEEEEEE EEERRRRRRRRR!" Derflinger screamed out Some knights that were there providing the griffon knight back up stared at the screaming sword. Some dumbfounded by the thing and some in wide wonder. Soon a groan can be heard and The people all stared at the source.

"Keep it down will ya I was just taking a nap." Deadpool exclaimed. He started stretching his body making audible pops.

"PARTNER! YOUR ALIVE." The sword exclaimed.

**Course we are. Were unkillable.**

So aside from the snake reference what else did we miss?

"Oh nothing except These guys all staring at me while I screamed my heart out for ya." The sword exclaimed.

"Well that's good." Deadpool said then he pulled out two MP5's and started spraying bullets at all of the knights. Bullets flew and hit almost everywhere. Nothing survived the flood of seemingly endless bullets. After five minutes of firing he stopped and viewed the damage.

"Partner?" The sword asked.

"Yes?" He answered.

"PLEASE. Please tell me you have nothing else that can surprise me." He exclaimed.

Sorry to disappoint you then but we have so much more at our disposal.

**I'm bored when do we go to the next level?**

Just then mages started appearing. And were horrified by the damage they saw.

"Ask and you shall receive." Deadpool exclaimed and grabbed Derflinger and made another mad dash towards the enemy.

**"just another day in**** paradise."** The sword and two subconscious said in unison.


	4. Chapter 4

When we last left off our hero he single handedly killed about maybe four dozen troops. Attacked The capital of Tristain and is proceeding to his target to kidnap the princess.

In all honesty this isn't what you wanted for this story at all did you?

You are correct.

**Who cares?**

I do dammit. Whatever the mages all stared at you guys and one cocky fat mage whose name is count mott. Who was visiting the castle speaks out.

"You there Commoner. You must be very brave or stupid to attack the capital of Tristain."

Deadpool just stands there and stares at the guy then in a mocking voice he made a fake impression of his foe.

"You there Noble asshole. You must be very stupid and brave to attack me. Do you know who I am?"

The count scowls at him then proclaims.

"I care not for who you are only for you to know that time has come."

Deadpool still mocking him says.

"You sir obviously don't know who I am. I am the master of glib, the deliverer of one-liners and the shogun of sarcasm? I am the merc with the mouth the regeneration degenerate. I am Deadpool!"

Count Mott simply laughs.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA And you Obviously don't know who I am Commoner. I am Count Mott my runic name is the Wave. And you are finished." He brings out a cane that some would say be his pimp cane. And brought forth a massive wave the likes of which Surfers would dream of surfing without hopefully dyeing.

"Partner Run!" His sword calls out. Deadpool looks around and instead of running he grabs a random door and heads towards the wave.

**SURFS UP.**

The wave engulfs him but like a badass he bursts through it wearing only swimming trunks his mask and equipment.

Truly a horrendous sight.

The mages that saw Deadpool were all quite sicken by what they saw. Mean while Deadpol took out his Mp5's and sang a merry tune while surfing.

"Zippty do dah, zippty-ay. I'm gonna blow all you dirtbags away. Plenty of bullets I'm gonna spray, Zippty do dah, zippty-ay."

And just like that all of the mages that were fighting him were all on the ground. It was like bodies hitting the floor.  
**Let the bodies hit the floor**  
** Let the bodies hit the floor**  
** Let the bodies hit the floor**  
** Let the bodies hit the floooooor. **

"Partner there is still one last one." Derflinger exclaimed. Deadpool some how in his full body suit looked around and saw the one and only mage alive. Which was Count Mott.

**HOW CAN THAT DOUCHE BE ALIVE OUR ATTACK SHOULD HAVE BEEN SUPER EFFECTIVE.**

Maybe he casted a shield to protect himself.

"Bullshit I call hax." Deadpool said putting his voice in.

Meanwhile the good count was flabbergasted. For all of the mages backing him up where dead just like that.

"W-who are you?" He sputtered out. Deadpool just pointed his Mp5 at him and said.

"I already told you my name but perhaps you will listen to me this time. I am the great founder of the kingdoms. The void of awesomeness. And not to mention dead sexy. I am the me that believes in me. I am the me, myself, and I. I am DEADPOOL." And he pulled the trigger. only for no bullets to come out. "Heh It seems you got lucky. Now I can make you into shishkebob." And by pulling out his talking sword proceeded to do just that. While He screamed bloody murder.

Meanwhile The queen and Princess were almost out of the castle. The knights with them guarding them, soon they all heard the good counts Scream. And hastened their pace abit. When they got to the castle courtyard A carriage pulled by unicorns awaited them. But before they could escape Deadpool just teleported right infront of them all with the staff of destruction and a reloaded mp5 pointed at them.

"Nobody move I wield the staff of destruction and I know how to use it to blow you all away." He stated matter of factly. All of them tensed for they heard of its destructive power but no one has ever been able to use it. One knight who was Viscount wardes was skeptical and simply said.

"I don't believe it He is just bluffing." Deadpool rose an eyebrow and countered.

"Uh hello do you see the gaping hole infront of your castle. All done by this baby." He said while patting the mentioned weapon with his head.

"Then why don't you demonstrate this power the staff has." He said haughtily.

"Your funeral." He stated and almost shot the rocket when The beautiful princess Henrietta voiced her concern.

"No please don't shoot Aint there some way we can settle this peacefully?"

"Blasphemy all fights are necessary. But then again." Deadpool pondered this question trying to think of what he would want.

**Ugh hello were here to kidnap her.**

Yes now stick to the plan.

"Partner aren't we gonna stick to the plan?" His sword said finally.

"Ok Here are my demands." He stated "I want a curved sword cause I lost one of mine. A dozen bags of gold and Your princess." This got a reaction from the knights but was quieted down by the princess.

"And if I give in to these demands you will leave and never come back?" She asked deadpool just nodded. "Alright I surrender myself to you." She then turned to the knights and said. "Go get what he demands." They stood there all dumbfounded that there princess was doing this till Deadpool said.

"Better hurry or I'll blow you all away." This prompted them to go and do as commanded. "Alright princess walk slowly and no funny buisness. Oh and also leave your wand thing a majigy behind." Henrietta nodded and took out her wand and dropped it on the ground. She then slowly walked on over to him. and they waited.

And waited.

And wait some more.

And som-

"Goddamit we get it just skip to the part were we teleport out of here already." Deadpool said.

Ok the guards came and gave him the gold and Some ornamental curved sword that looked like a katana then Deadpool grabbed the princess like he would grab a barmaid by the hip and said one last line.

**It's got to be epic like I'll be back.**

"Maybe just say if anyone follows us the princess gets it.

**Nah then they will just come out of the woodworks and hunt us like animals.**

"Alright I want you all to listen and listen good. I am with Reconquista the noble guys that are rebelling in albion if you want your princess back then you have to get her In Albion." He said as fact. Then he teleported with all that he grabbed which was Princess and Gold along with new sword.


	5. Chapter 5

Where we last left off our hero he successfully kidnapped the princess while blaming a organization that didn't do it.

Both Deadpool and Princess Henrietta reappeared in a flash of light. When that was done The Princess broke away from Deadpool and clonked him right in the goods.

That's got to hurt.

Writhing in pain he dropped his Mp5 and Staff of Destruction. The Princess grabbed the Mp5 and pointed it at our hero.

"Why has Reconquista sent you to kidnap me and attack our country's capital." She demanded. Deadpool was still writhing in pain from the hit. "Tell me!" She demanded again. Pulling himself together He looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"WHY? WHY would you strike your most faithful Friend." He cried, This caused her to raise an eyebrow. Steeling herself again she pointed the Mp5 closer to his head and demanded.

"Why did you kidnap me?" Deadpool sighed and breathed in and then out.

"Princess what I am about to tell you will most likely not make sense. You will have to had been there in order to fully understand." This only caused her to point the gun closer. Urging him to go on. "Alright... I am your father." When he said those words it made her just pull the trigger filling his head with lead.

**Hah I see what you did there.**

When the princess was done shooting him she dropped the gun and took a deep breath. And stared at the corpse of our good hero Deadpool. She shrieked like a banshee when Deadpool got back up. "Ok I didn't think that would happen but anyway I'll tell why I kidnapped you." She only stuttered out.

"H-how are you alive?" Deadpool rose an eyebrow and pondered this question.

I think we should tell her the truth The girl deserves to know.

**Screw that just Repeat after me. Water magic.**

"Water magic." He said. This seemed to calm her down a little.

"Oh you must be a really powerful mage in order to survive and heal an attack like that."

"Not really." He said non chalantley.

**Ok so um...**

"Ok so um..."

Don't repeat that.

***Bows to her* My princess What I am about to tell you will mostly sound farfetched but it is the complete truth.**

Deadpool bows down to her

"My princess what I am about to tell you will mostly sound farfetched but it is the complete truth." He repeats to her.

"..."

**I am from the future.**

"I am from the future." He stated. More silence filled the area. Making it deathly quiet. Then all of a sudden The Princess Faints.

**Well that worked out well.**

"Well that worked out well." He repeated.

**... Ok you can stop repeating me now.**

"... Ok you can stop repeating me now."

**Please stop.**

"Please stop."

**I'm gay**

"Good for you."

Scene Change.

All was not well in the school of tristain magical academy. For news got out somehow that the princess was kidnapped. And that Reconquista some organization on a floating continent that was at war with The Royal Albion Royalty. Needless to say All the fucking boys at the school were flipping out and alot wanted to join the army and lead a grand crusade against them. For one pinkheaded girl however she was distraught almost in a state of depression for her closest friend had been kidnapped. She was so depressed she locked her self up in her room and barricaded the door refusing to come out. Teaching staff tried to figure out how she did it for they usually have keys to all of the student rooms. But none of that stuff really matters cause this is a story about Deadpool. So lets go back to him.

Scene change.

"...How long is she gonna be asleep for?"Deadpool asked.

Probably a good ten to fifteen hours.

**That's gonna take too long we have stuff to do.**

Deadpool pondered on what to do then it struck him like lightning. Infact that's exactly what struck him lightning. Deadpool fell to the ground a smoldering pile of corpse. Then a blueheaded girl emerged on the scene looking at the corpse on top of a dragon.

"You know Partner you really need to be more aware of your surroundings." Derf said.

"... Eat him." Said the little girl on top of the dragon. Before that could happen his body teleported away towards the Staff of destruction. Which was three feet away. Grabbing the massive weapon of destruction he pointed it at the ground and shouted.

"Nobody move if I fire this on the ground it will obliterate us all." No one moved. Except for the flapping of wings keeping the dragon in the air. She merely looked at him and thinking that the staff can't hit her if she is in the air. So she used her magic and fired off icicles at our dear hero. Who was pissed. "Hey I said I will fire this thing. And I will." He proceeded to point it at the little girl when it struck him. Which was more Icicles by the way.

**Bullshit were being beaten by a little girl.**

Use your hammers and bat them away like baseballs.

"We don't have hammers!" He exclaimed. Still being pelted with deadly icicles

Use your Deadpool points and get a hammer.

"Oh right." And like magic he pulled out a hammer and prepared for the next attack. "SWING BATABATABATABATA." And proceeded to hit the icicles back at Tabitha who was the blue headed girl.

**How did this girl find us?**

She's probably some sort of secret agent.  


As Deadpool kept playing Baseball Princess Henrietta woke up to the sound of shattering ice. Until one of those ice chunks clonked her on the noggin and she fell unconscious again.

"Partner you just put sleeping beauty into unconsciousness." His sword said. Seeing how the whole entire area was now becoming one big ice rink. Deadpool did the one thing no one would expect him to do. He ran towards the princess. All the while taking out his trusty desert eagle... Seriously.

**Hey those Beretta's weren't doing it for us so we had to upgrade.**

And we did it by spending Deadpool points.

Seems legit. Ok Deadpool pointed his gun at the princess and yelled at tabitha saying.

"If I can't have her no one can." Wait no that's not what he said. "Oh right I meant to say PREPARE TO DIE PRINCESS!" No that's not what he said at all. "Fine. Move or do anything hasty and she get's it." There we go.

Sure did take you awhile to get it correct.

Tabitha didn't move and she finally said something to the merc with the mouth.

"What do you want?" To this Deadpool only pondered. Then an idea struck him.

"I want your staff some rope and your dragon." He said confidently. Tabitha merely shook her head and said.

"Can't have." Which irritated Deadpool cause she didn't specify on which he couldn't have.

"Ugh your gonna have to specify which I can't have." He said to the blue headed girl. To which she answered with only one word.

"Dragon!"

**Let's just take it from her we need that dragon to be our trusty mount and fly it into battle.**

"Hmm. Ok just give me your staff and some rope and I'll not kill the Princess." Deadpool asked and received a shake of the head. "What Can't I have now?"

"Staff." Was all she said.

"Can I atleast have some rope?" He asked to which she shook her head again. "And why not?"

"Don't have." Was all she said. To which Deadpool just face palmed.

"This chapter is really annoying me ok SCENE TRANSITION."

Five minutes later we see Tabitha tied up to the back of her dragon along with the princess and Deadpool was on a harness on the dragon holding a makeshift spear made from Tabitha's staff and the spare sword along with rope and some how duct tape. "Works every time. Giddy up." And the dragon flew off into the sunset heading to who knows where?


	6. Chapter 6

Were we last left off our hero he was flying to Albion the floating continent with a tied up Tabitha And Princess Henrietta. As Time Passed the princess began to wake up and was surprised to be on a dragon. And all throughout the flight Tabitha was wondering how she was tied up in the first place for one minute she is standing facing him the next tied up just like that. Now we begin.

"Uh Partner they are both awake." His talking sword exclaimed.

"I know Derf i've known for awhile." Deadpool retorted. Both captives were staring at their captor wondering what was going on.

**Time to make up some more bullshit.**

No we are gonna tell them the truth and nothing but the truth.

Deadpool used the reigns to guide the dragon down to a forest near a town near rochelle. Once down he carried both of them off the dragon and set them down.

"Ok I'm gonna untie you both. I expect you not to attack me and listen to what I'm gonna say." He told them both They nodded and Deadpool proceeded to do just that. Once untied they waited for this so called explanation.

**Any day now.**

"Ok as I told you Princess I am from the future. Sent to the past to change it." They both nodded their heads in somewhat understandment. "Exactly maybe a month from now the Reconquista will take over the continent of Albion and killing all of the Royal family." This got a reaction from The princess and tore her up inside. "But that is just it's short term goal."

"What is there real goal?" The Princess asked.

"There goal is to unite all nations under one flag and then wage war with the elves to reclaim the holy land. And once they do they will use ancient artifacts to solidfy there rule and almost become gods. And their power is rivaled only by two people whom are Founder Brimir himself and Louise Francoise De La Valliere whom are both Void Users." He finished.

"Louise is a void user?" The princess asked. To which Deadpool nodded.

"Interesting?" Was all Tabitha said in a expressionless voice.

"Indeed It is and I Saito Hiraga Deadpool am the legendary Familiar Gandalfr" He also added.

We aren't seriously taking his name now are we.

"Well Mister Saito I find it hard to believe this story That you might have fabricated with lies." said the Henrietta. To which Deadpool nodded.

"I have thought about it and I have evidence that my story is true." He then took out of his pocket a ring. "I believe you know what this ring is Princess." She took the ring and her eyes bulged.

"Why this is the ruby of water But I only have the Ruby of water ring." She indicated this by showing her version of the ring which she wore.

"Indeed And Tabitha I can prove to you as well that I'm from the future." He then took out a doll with black hair and a purple dress on. And this made her eyes bulge as well.

"My Doll." Was all she said.

**Where are you getting this stuff?**

I too would like to know?

'_Bargain__ bin.'_ Deadpool said thoughtfully. The Princess then looked at Deadpool and somewhere in her mind she knew this man spoke the truth.

"Well Mr. Deadpool you have convinced me that you are from the future. Now I believe you had a story to continue." To which Deadpool nodded.

"Of course As I said I'm from the future due to a void spell that Founder Brimir performed along with Louise Francoise and a half Elf/half human person named Tiffania Westwood I was able to go back to the past. All Void users. Now I'm running out of time and I need to do some things so I will skim over somethings as fast as I can." He took a deep breath and began.

"Louise summons me. Then Fouquet steals the staff of destruction. We capture her and retrieve the staff back. Next you the princess send us to go to Albion to retrieve a letter you sent to Prince Wales. Which by the way was stupid of you. We fail cause Viscount wards was a traitor. He then kidnapps louise and uses her power to wage a great campaign against all the nation using her power. I had to obey them or else they would kill her. Next I am sent to kill a person who is a user of void magic and when I faced him he revealed to me that he was Founder Brimir himself. He helps me save Louise and he begins teaching her Void spells. Next we find Tiffania and convince her to join us. We lead an assault force against Albion but we fail. Next we make our last stand While performing the time travel spell. And finally I was able to get through but no one else." He finished.  
It was silent for a good minute to process all of that information. Then Tabitha asked.

"What happened to me."

"I don't know you become a queen and then get assassinated by elves." He answered and she was silent.

"And to me." Henrietta asked.

"You died by public execution in front of all of Tristain." And soon more silence followed. "Look Princess I'm sorry of what I done by attacking your capital but I had to in order to get this information to you. Tabitha You are just an added bonus on who knows. But you are the most Kawaiest so I guess I can tell you more about who sent the assassins."

"I have a clue." She said and she knew who it was.

"Alright Now I'm gonna let you both go and you need to act accordingly and privately in order to prevent these things from happening. So first order is to get louise safe. Don't care how just make sure she is safe and don't trust the Viscount Wardes Heck send him on missions that will result in his death. Guy deserves to die anyway." They both nodded their heads. "Ok Here Tabitha your staff. I suggest you find a suitable lance than this one but it will do for your training into becoming The feared blue terror of the sky. And keep on studying you will be the first ever hexagon class mage able to stack up to six things and wield almost all four branches. Except for Void." This brought a spark to her eyes the likes of which no one has seen. "Now I have to go and save a certain prince.." He waved and was about to teleport. when he was called out by the princess.

"Wait don't you need these items?"

"Don't need them, Why don't you keep them." And he soon teleported away. Henrietta then turned to Tabitha and the same with her.

"Well will you help me Tabitha de Gallia?" She asked her.

"I will." was all she said.

Back with Deadpool and the gang

I can't believe we lied to those little girls.

"What do you mean lied we told them the truth just altered it a little." Was Deadpool's reply.

"Partner was any of that true what so ever."

"Meh doesn't matter now besides we have some thieves to stop at Lagg lake." And off they went to stop the so called thieves.


	7. Shameless answers and reviews for deadpo

Hi this is Stoneificaunt the author of Deadpool of Halkginia here to inquire answer and tell you all some things about the story This chapter is the first of answering and maybe some hints for what will be in future chapters. Now originally I wanted This story to be like any other Familiar of zero fanfic where louise gets her familiar and then treats he or she or it like crap while on wacky adventures.

But then I thought Thats all good but it's a certain repetitive feeling. After working on the second chapter I had no clue what to do and how to take the story from there. So I was just gonna have Deadpool aquire items like steal every single thing that was important whic I just had him steal Derflinger.

While working on the Third I had an idea of what to do from there it originally was going to be a sneak in kidnapp princess get out. But I figured why not just storm the castle I got this idea while playing the first mission of the deadpool game where there is a brief sneaking in and then just charge in and run and gun and slice while hammering enemys. Then I thought why not make it a two parter. So I did that.

During The forth chapter I wanted to have a sort of Boss fight but that idea was thrown out the window and I just had a brief clash followed by a humiliation.

**HUMILIATION**

quiet you. So I thought who do I hate in zero no tsukaima. I immediately wanted Viscount wardes but I had plans for him. I didn't know who else until I saw the pimp of Halkeginia himself. No i'm not talking about Scarron I'm talking about the person who makes commoners mistresses. Count Mott. Now originally I wanted to explain why he was there but I was just gonna kill him off so it didn't really matter I mean who here actually likes the guy. No one really He's just a perv and a asshole with benefits. And a sleazy scumbag. So just got rid of him. Now the real purpose had to be done I figured a good ole mexican standoff had to be in order But I knew Deadpool had the staff of destruction so more was in his favor. So He won easily. I was tempted to blow away wardes but like I said plans for him.

Fifth chapter Now this one was a toughy for me. I originally wanted a good ole explanation with bullshit story but I wanted more characters. So I put in the fight with Tabitha And waited for the next chapter of explanation while giving off a hint of his bs story. I originally wanted to tell stuff about Louise like say she gets taken home for being a failure of a mage but ... well lets face it I'm high when I wright some of this stuff. That's kinda mostly the reason of Spelling errors. In my other two stories which if you read they are a life thing away different from this story. Any way Sixth chapter and my favorite. of it all. I wanted something cool. and certain questions answered. Like say If wardes did succeed in marrying Louise and using her power. Would Saito willingly go with them of course not. So I had to make incentives. Like threaten her. And he would do it for the safety of his master. And then I needed savior so I used the founder Brimir himself I don't know why People don't make a fanfic about him. It would be awesome to read. Maybe make a fanfic of how he hid himself from the world and became a hermit and have Louise and saito find him And he teaches Louise how to further her Void magic. And maybe add some flash backs of why he hid himself from the world. Like say The whole Nobility thing is a joke and have him care more for human life than that of nobility. Have him try and revolutionize the world like say the void has told him that magic will become obsolete and technology will pave the way. And commoners will become equals with nobles. Of course the idea would never have merit. But why not.

Anyway I left a hint after the bullshit story which I took the idea from the new fire emblem game of how Lucina goes back in time. Now to answer and inquire to some reviews.

to Poliamida who said. This, this is so ridiculous! Complete disregard for continuity, physics or the fourth wall that puts Deadpool in the same level of ridiculness as Discord. In many cases this would make the story unreadable, and yet somehow im fucking loving it!  
If you can manage this right you can have an actual epic story, if Henrietta and Tabitha believes Deadpool and start moving things on their own this could get even more batshit insane.  
But, please, check your grammar.  
Keep it up!

I thank you for loving it and I do have some stuff that will involve both Tabitha and Henrietta to make this story readable and still good. For the grammar check however... I guess I can try to be more of my grammer nazi side. But I don't like it.

To Z2010Deadmeat who said. Ahh the power of breaking the fourth wall. I hope we can still see Wardes and Deadpool square off just to read the Viscounts reaction over how The Merc with a Mouth has a tendency to heal himself.

Like I said above I have plans for the dear Viscount.

to pitero who said. Lie but what lie, it could become an fanfiction in itself. Nevertheless great chapter you made so much progress while making it go smoothly and balanced. I know stories where something like this could ruin whole story(read some of it) but you did it without a hitch.

Thank you for the vote of confidence and it is true the lie should become it's own fanfiction it self. Maybe after I finish this story I just might do that. Unless someone beats me to it. But other wise I might finish my other two stories or the ones I have on Fimfiction Which if anyone reading this want to check out my storys on fimfiction just look up Stoneificaunt the same user name I use here. And read some of those storys

to Feng lengshun who said. Oh man, he mixed both truth and lies, creating a believable story even though it is a total BS. Deadpool is freaking awesome.

Reading this, I think that it does have a story so it is nice. The writing though... please get a Beta so that we could better enjoy it.

Again I guess I could crack down more on being my Grammer nazi side but I don't really want to. Thanks for liking though.

to feral wolfskin who said. stupid fourth wall breaker power.  
in the start of first chapter he know nothing about familiar of zero and then he now enough to trick two persons (pulling objects of nowhere help him) .  
considering that you rely on the game. the dog (the pet of deadpool) is going to appareard?  
i laugh when deadpool thrown the grenade and the dog catches it or in the end when the dog drive the boot to kill mr sinister

Yes the dog will appear and so will one more but I will never tell And as for the items I think Deadpool is like the mask by jim carrey If you remember the scene where he was arrested and then they searched him he had all that stuff so why not Deadpool have all that stuff.

Now That's gonna be all the stuff I answer If you have more things you want answered I'll answer them in the next answering of stuff. and inquiry. I need to think of how I will stop the people who steal the Andvari's ring. Peace out.


	8. Chapter 8

Ok Deadpool teleported himself to the lake to stop the thieves. Only problem is they already stole it.

**HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!**

Anyway Deadpool doesn't know it so he will be sleeping for three days. When he woke up he was up to his head in water.

"How did that happen?" Deadpool asked, just then the water spirit rose from the water and took the form of professor x.

"Deadpool? Are you there?" The water spirit X asked.

"Yo baldy wassup!" Deadpool said while floating.

"Ah good you are there. you had a lot of people wonder where you went. Luckily I managed to pinpoint your location and am ready to-"

"Yeah yeah none of that is important what is important is you tell me who the hell stole the stupid Ring Of Andvari." Deadpool said interrupting the professor.

"Ugh partner didn't we know who stole the ring?" His sword asked. In a hush hush manner Deadpool whispered.

"Were doing this so we seem ignorant and there fore provide realisticness to the story."

What realistcness we already shattered the fourth wall and it's apparent that we failed to stop the people from stealing the ring.

**Yeah we should just go to Albio save the prince destroy rebels and chew bubblegum.**

"DEADPOOL!?" The water spirit x said loudly. "We have a serious situation here."

"I'll say how do you get service around here?" He said while holding a Cell phone out.

"Deadpool the fate of the planet that you are on is at stake. You need to Take this serious." X pleaded.

"Relax I'm already aware of the stupid dragon, Right now I need to leave to save the prince of Albion." And Deadpool was about to teleport when Water X said to stop.

"No Deadpool you mustn't save the prince!"

"What you say murphy?" He questioned.

"You mustn't save the prince of Albion." X said again.

"And why not Baldy?"

"Because it is his prophecy to die."

**Explain?**

He can't hear us you idiot.

"Wait a minute Time for X test. What am I thinking?"

"Your thinking of denying the princes death." Water X answered.

"Ok that was a test to see if it worked now here is the real test what is Five times nine?"

"Chimichanga."

"Damn he knew my answer." Deadpool was then stumped.

**Ok what am I thinking about?**

"How stupid I am." X answered.

He's good!

"Alright your turn." Deadpool said to his other mind.

Ok shoot.

"Nothing." X answered again.

correct He's got three for three.

"What am I thinking?" Derflinger shouted out

"..."

"..." Deadpool waited for his answer.

**...**

...

"..." Derflinger continued to wait for his answer.

"I can't tell." X finally said. A collected gasp was heard by Deadpool and the two minds.

"YOUR NOT BALDY! IT'S A TRAP!" Deadpool shouted out. Then used his teleportation belt to get the hell out of there.

"Wait Deadpool!? Damn I lost his signal." X said. Suddenly a huge hairy sumbitch walked up and placed a hand on the professor's shoulder.

"Don't worry professor Once the inter trans-dimensional gate is ready I'll stop him."

"For the world's sake Logan I hope you can."


	9. true chapter 8

Deadpool Teleported to the great land of Albion. No not the Albion from the Fable series the floating continent one in Zero No Tsukaima. Now the land was on the beginning of rebellion with the Royalists versus Re conquistadors. Oh I meant Reconquista. Now as he walked to the castle and getting strange looks from people that he passed by. He thought outloud his gameplan.

"Ok guys I'm open to suggestions?" Deadpool asked his two minds and sword.

**Simple Invade, take names, Grab babes, chew bubblegum, ?, Profit.**

"I don't think that will work Partner." Derflinger spouted.

**Of course it will work, when has it never?**

Almost all the time.

**Well I don't hear you suggesting anything.**

His mind thinks for a minute while Deadpool still walked, it was a beautiful day filled with trees squirrels and a random Elf that was blond.

"Hi Tiffania!" Deadpool gleefully said to the elf. She eeped and ran disappearing in to the forest. "What a nice girl." He continued.

I got it a plan that is so insane for you guys it just might work.

**Well don't keep us in suspense get on with it.**

"Yea get on with it!" Deadpool said to the saner part of his mind.

Deadpool kidnaps Prince Wales then impersonates as him and defeat Reconquista.

"That's insane." The sword said sadly.

**Hmm... Insane enough to work lets do it.**

"Woah woah wait." The controller of the body said. "What do we do with Wales once we kidnap him."

**...**

...

"Send him to the princess?" Derf suggested.

"Ok then lets go do it." And They all set off to the castle while listening to castle crashers theme music.  
Meanwhile Tabitha was escorting Princess Henrietta back to the castle. And while they flew through the air They decided to do some small talk.

"So Tabitha?" Tabitha remained silent while still flying her familiar Slypheed. "When Mr. Saito said you became Queen. Am I to assume you are a Princess." Tabitha slowly nodded her head to answer her. "Then are you by any chance Charlotte Hélène d'Orléans?" Tabitha Slowly nodded her head to this. Henrietta took a pausing moment to choose her next words carefully. "Then why did Mr. Saito call you Tabitha if I may ask?"

"Disguise!" Was the one word the Gallian Princess said.

"So might I ask why you decided to save me?" The Tristainian Princess asked.

"Wasn't trying to save." She said with out any emotion.

"Then Might I ask why you were fighting Mr. Saito?" Henrietta questioned.

"Stole Staff of Destruction." Was all she said. Henrietta Remained silent trying to figure out whether or not Tabitha was a potential friend or foe.

"So You were trying to capture The Staff of Destruction for Gallia or try and return it to the people of the academy?" She asked trying to narrow down the choices she might say.

"Return." Was all the blue headed girl said.

"I see..." Both remained silent while flying in the air. "So what do you think of Mr. Saito's claim about Louise' being a Void user."

"Explains her lack of Affinity."

"So can I trust you not to tell anyone?" The Princess asked hopefully.

"Won't tell." Was all she said.

"Good." The Princess finished.

**Boring Lets kill something. **

We can't just go around killing everything like we own the place.

"WHAT!?" Deadpool said out loudly and people around him where staring at him weirdly.

**Ahh screw them they just don't know how to live. Bunch of backward society country bumpkins.**

"You know partner I think were almost at the castle I just wanna ask how are you gonna get close to the Prince?" Their sword friend asked.

"I will do the one thing needed to get in that castle."

**Sneaking montage. Insert Metal gear solid 2 soundtrack main theme.**

The world slowed for them Deadpool went into an alleyway and took out a packpack and opened it. He brought out a black bandana and put it on his head. Exchanged his red and black suit for a completely black suit. He took off his mask to reveal a horrid face only to replace it again with a completely black mask with white circle area's around his eyes. He equipped him self with a silenced pistol and Derflinger. And then he used the one piece of tool that was essential to his whole mission. He brought out a cardboard box And hid himself under it.

"Lets roll boys!" And so there mission to sneak into the castle had begun.

* * *

Hey guys StoneIficaunt here with another new chapter for Deadpool of Halkiginia. Sorry it was so far to come to you guys especially since some of you might be back at school. Say hi to your teachers for me by the way.

**Don't do that it's creepy.**

What no it's not I just wanted to say... ok do as he says. Any way I wanted your opinions not just on this story but on what I might do. You see I have idea' also Idea's for other fics like making a Fable crossover with Familiar of Zero where the Hero's of either Oakvale, Bowerstone, or just basically the prince or princess of the third fable game. maybe even Gabriel from Fable the Journey.

**Totally horrible idea anyway.**

Shut up! Any way I wanted your guys opinion on whether or not I should do it. Also I got Borderlands 2 and have been playing it while watching RWBY and have been thinking of writing a fic about those two things together.

**I can dig those two things together gun's, money, babes, giant monster baddasses.**

Anyway I have been working on my Warcraft 3 The Familiar of Zero fic I'm almost done with the next chapter. For those of you who wonder where I got the idea blame the Acolyte of Zero fic on this site. And also I have been neglecting my starting baby story on this site The Witch of Zero that some of you might have read.

**That idea was gonna die from the getgo anyway.**

Shut up. any way send either a message or just review here your answers I'll either answer them. or not. Also I would like you people to take these idea's of mine before I writes them. Cause most likely I'll write one good chapter and get you hooked but take like a month to write the next. So please you people out there take these idea's before I ruin them with my negligence of updating. Like this story that is still good I just don't update.

**He's got chores and an asshole that is dating his mom and a baby brother birthed from said asshole. Plus less time on the computer.**

Shut up already anyway peace folks.


	10. Chapter 9 FOLKS

Deadpool was slowly ascending the castle walls of castle grayskull I mean Albion castle with his sneak gear on. All the while Metal gear theme music was playing in the background or in Deadpool's head while he ascended the wall. It was night time and sneaking at night was always better than the day time. So far he had been doing pretty good he didn't need to blowup anything.

**Boring why not just storm the castle like we did in Tristanbul. **

We are going with my plan and we are sneaking into the castle.

***grumble grumble***

Deadpool the merc with the mouth was in his a game. He was so concentrated that he did't notice the magic school bus of hot chicks and Carlos living it up.

"*Grumble grumble*" Grumbled Deadpool who missed that bikini party of scantily clad women.

Stop torturing the man already.

Oh there's Hatsune Miku singing I touch myself by the Divinyls. (Listen to the nightcore version.)

**Holy shit there's a stage of her singing.**

"It's all a lie. Just like the cake!" Muttered Deadpool under his breath.

"Partner you should look behind you!" His sword told him.

"I'm not going to fall for it I just need to concentrate and replace my self as that Prince Wales dude." Deadpool said to his sword and continued to climb the castle. All the while missing the Scantily clad women take off there bra's and having a mud wrestle. "Dammit stop already!" Deadpool shouted at the author. Who just made Moxxi from Borderlands strip her clothes off and give everyone bj's. "Godammit stop alreadY!" He shouted.

**Woah look at her go to town on those guys.**

Yeah she's like a machine.

"Not you too." Deadpool cried as his most sane mind fell to madness.

I did not.

"Must persevere!" Deadpool said as he just missed Strike Witches fly by in bikini's and panties.

"Partner It's the most beautiful thing in existence." His sword said to him.

"Goddammit The window is in site I just need to get up there." He said when he just missed the most interesting man in the world say I don't always party but when I do it's with babes. As He climbed up closer and closer the temptation to see Saint's girls partying was tempting. But Deadpool persevered and climbed up to the window opened it and Attacked his target Whom was the real slim Wales. "YES YES!YES! I did it I didn't fall for that lie." He then looked out the window and saw it was no lie. "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


	11. Chapter 10 The switch

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

Deadpool shouted to the heavens his shout could be heard so far around the world it even punctured through dimensions and everyone in the marvel universe could hear it. "Why?" Deadpool questioned while down on two knees. "WHY GOD WHY?" He complained to god who also heard him.

**This is all the author's fault!**

"Partner it's alright I'm sure there will be a next time." His sword said sympathetically. Deadpool sniffed and stood up. He then observed the room he was in. He was surrounded by mages all pointing wands at him. Along with the prince who was also pointing a wand slash sword at him.

"Who are you ad why are you here?" The Prince Valiant Wales said while pointing his sword slash wand at him. Deadpool still in his sneaking outfit looked at him dumbly and asked him a question.

"Um are you Prince Wales?" The mages all looked at each other with a look that said is this guy for real. The Prince Wales had a stern gaze and answered.

"Yes I am Prince Wales of Albion. Now I demand to know why you are in my room?" The Prince said while pointing his sword wand at him. Deadpool quickly remembered why he was here and forgot all about the awesome stuff that was out the window that he can still join if he jumped out right now.

**Your a dick dude.**

Quick as a the flash Deadpool made a miniature tornado like the mask from Jim Carey. When the tornado was done Instead of Deadpool was an exact lookalike copy of Prince Wales.

"Well Prince I'm your new twin brother Wade and as of this moment your mage friends are going to disappear!" And like lightning Deadpool brought out two guns that looked like Ak-47's But instead had a barrel that looked like a minigun.

**VLADOF GUNS FTW**

We aren't seriously taking weapons from Borderlands now are we?

Deadpool fired his weapons at each and every single mage in the room. Miraculously the only person not getting hit was Prince Wales. The Prince could only stare as all the mages before him were dieing like dominoes. Deadpool then threw both of his guns at the remaining corpse's and made the whole room explode.

**TORGUE GUNS FTW**

I don't even care anymore.

Wales then stared at His twin with disbelief as his twin stared back with a sick sadistic grin.

"Guess what Wales?" Deadpool Wales said to the real Wales.

"What?" Wales said wearily.

"You better get ready?" He told him.

"Ready for what?" Wales said while stepping back. Deadpool Wales stepped forward and said.

"You better get ready... READY TO DIE!" Deadpool shouted.

**YOU BETTER GET READY TO KILL!**

Were not really killing him are we?

Wales casted a Air slash at Deadpool which hit his chest only to regenerate a second later.

"What are you?" He questioned him, Deadpool simply put a hand on his shoulder causing him to tense. Then in a really black voice he said.

"I'm your twin brother from another mother." Their was an eery silence with those crickets chirping in the back ground. Finally after a good three minute wait Wales broke the silence by saying the one word in all of our minds.

"What?"

"Look partner I know your trying to confuse the hell out of him but just tell him that your going to pose as him while he hides out and not go to war." Derflinger said surprising wales.

"Fine Spoil sport." Deadpool Wales said to his sword. "Ok Prince your father basically ordered me to replace you while you hide out and not die in this war we will surely lose." The prince didn't know what to say and before he could Deadpool clocked him in the head with his fist.

"Was that really necessary partner?" His sword asked.

"Of course it was! Now to put him in this box that I brought."

**I thought we were going to be sneaking inside the box**.

"Wrong it is to put the real Prince in." And so Deadpool put the Prince in the box. But in a far off corner of the land a portal opened and out came Wolverine.

"Alright Wade time to fix up your mess before Time and space eff up again." And he was off sniffing for our hero's scent.


	12. Chapter 11 The warring end

Deadpool had successfully pulled off his impersonation of Prince Wales. He also managed to stash him in another castle.

How on earth did we do that?

**It's callled Video game references.**

Now since Deadpool was trying to act Princely he was looking through The prince's closet for a good suit.

"No! No! No! Nope! Nada! Noway! Noway Hosea! Nein! Méiyǒu! Nee! Nuk ka! Ոչ! Xeyr!" Deadpool Wales said while tossing out his clothing.

**What do some of those words even mean?**

I believe there all forms of the word No.

Deadpool had just about looked at all of his clothing and none were cool enough for him to wear. He was tempted to rip off his disguises hair out but then he got an idea.

Oh no!

Using his trusty inter dimensional costume trunk Deadpool looked through there for an outfit worthy to wear. When he found none and remembered he will be going to war he settled for a military jacket with Four star paldrons and those medal rectangle things. He then brought out military cap and put on some badass pants. oh and the rest of the whole enchilada to dress himself up as a general of America.

"Looking good partner!" His sword exclaimed.

**Well old bean shall we show the enemy what for?**

Why are you speaking like an english gentlemen?

"Gentlemen!" Deadpool Whales said gathering the attention of his two subconscious and sword. "Today we will change this country for the good of all America, we will gain our independence. Or die trying!"

We can't really die.

"Today marks the day we save this country from it's self. From those who would seek to destroy us. From those who would seek to overthrow the government."

Aren't we overthrowing the government disguising ourselves as Prince Wale?

"We can and will defeat the coming evil that no one will believe unless they saw it with there own two eyes!"

Your not even listening are you? 

"Today marks a new order for we will unite this country against that damn nuisance of a man Cromwell."

**So beautiful Old chap. *CRIES***

"And then once we have won we will invade Gallia and chop off that tyrant king's head."

"OH PARTNER YOUR CRAZY BUT FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN SO FAR IT JUST MIGHT WORK." derflinger said cryingly and somehow bringing tears to fall down his blade.

"And then we will change this government from a monarchy to a democracy!"

Ugh we might as well just claim the whole world while were at it.

"And then we have done all of these things and the world is safe. We will go home and be free."

**It brings a tear to my eye to listen to such a beautiful ****dream.  
**

Yeah well I don't really think we can do all those things.

"Your just a negative nancy today, sheesh can't you be like the other mind?" Deadpool Wales said to his logical side mind.

Well as soon as we start doing something then I'll stop being a negative nancy.

"What do you mean?" Deadpool questioned.

You have been talking to only the three of us.

"No I have not I have been talking to the reader, the author, the people in this war Room."

Wait When did we get in this war room.

"Since the beginning of my speech. Oh and I have been talking to reviewer's." He contiuned.

"You know what wake me when we start going to war.

"Ugh we kinda already are? Hey Look there goes the tank battalion to wipe out the rest of Reconquista." He said pointing out the window to a tank battalion doing just that.

What how can we pass that much time already?

"Well we kinda won the war already when That Louise chick used her void explosion on Gallia." Deadpool exclaimed.

...

"..."

Anything else?

"Nah that's pretty much it except now were attending Prince's wales wedding with Princess Henrietta."

I thought we were disguised as Prince Wales?"Oh no we long since revealed who we are."

"But If we revealed who we are aren't we fugitives?

"Fugitives of what? Shield? Police? Interpol? Secret service?"

Halkigenia?

"Dude it's been a year since that adventure you need to forget about them and live in the now."

I need to lie down.

"Ok I'll lay my head down on my bed in our apartment that we are currently at."

Goodnight.

"Goodnight!"

**Goodnight dude and also Fin.  
**


	13. The end

"Hey folks Deadpool here. Here to tell you that well It was a great run."

**Yea we kicked there asses stole some shit made friends.**

I still think we went to fast for this to be the end.

"Well partner it was beautiful while it lasted. But I got to get back to me world."

"Dude your just going to lay around on a shelf all day why not stay?"

"It's because I can not exist in your world Deadpool."

**Damn that must suck.**

"It does."

"Well maybe we will meet again someday."

"Yeah hopefully we will meet again someday."

HOLD IT.

"Uh oh"

**Crap**

I didn't do anything.

You think you can just end the story here without my permission. Hell no I'm the Author and I say get back in that world.

"Dude I'm bored of that world I just want to stay here in the marvel one."

Well to fucking bad cause I'm Trevor Phillips and I don't give a shit.

**Dude are you really him?**

NO but I have his rage and I am using it so I say get in the fucking portal that I have made and continue this damn story.

"And what if I don't want to."

*snap's fingers Deadpool finds himself in a movie theater tied up by duct tape.*

"Wait what are you doing? How did I get here?"

Your not the only one with a split personality Wade.

*Snaps fingers are heard and the movie projection begins to play*

"Think this will cause me to break I'm indestructible!"

*Movie projection begins to play a cute adorable kitten.*

"Awww it's so cute. what you going to cute me to death?" *The cute kitten is then picked up by a hand and then promptly thrown against the wall.* "What the hell that's fucked up." *The cute kitten is then picked up again and thrown again at the wall.* "Dude you gone loco." * The cute kitten is then put into a toilet.* "No, no don't do it!" *A hand is getting ever so closer to the switch that flushes the toilet.* "NO, DON'T DO IT DON'T DO THIS TO THE INNOCENT KITTY YOU MONSTER!" *The hand pushes down on the switch and the toilet begins it's process. "NOOOOOOO KITTY!"

**This this is fucked up I can't watch this.**

I will have to agree.

*The kitty is then meowing for help as the toilet starts to swirl and the kitty is going down the hole.*

"I'll do it, I'll go back just don't let the kitty drown. You monster."

Glad we have come to an agreement only this time its going to be a little different. *Before the kitty cat could drown it is grabbed by a hand and then dried off by another holding a towel.* "What is gonna be different?" Your going back, back to the beginning. "What no but we made so much progress already." Progress that will erased as of now. *The kitty cat is given to a loving family who cherish it until the day they die.*

*Time in the Familiar of zero universe goes back playing back each event that has passed and going so far backward to the time before Louise Francoise De La Valliere summoned Deadpool.* I hope your ready Deadpool cause this time It's personal. *Deadpool is tossed into a portal that has appeared to summon him back to The world he left and also back in time. All the while he is screaming that the author is mad with power.* This just goes to show deadpool you don't mess with an author and his stories. And to those who read this and are wondering what the fuck did I just read. Well You read the beginning of a new story being brought back to life. But this time it will be different. So different you can't even comprehend.


End file.
